Repost

I'm reposting this on my spiritual blog as well as my family blog. It deserves to be in my spiritual journal.

I've been thinking a lot about my children lately and how grateful I am for them. They are such wonderful little people and I truly feel blessed to be their mother. They make me a better person day by day as I learn patience and unselfishness and putting others first. They help me to strive to live the gospel more fully as I try to show them a good example and teach them correct principles. One kiss or smile or hug or "I love you, mommy" can melt away frustration and grumpiness and remind me how pure and innocent they really are.

I've had this on my mind lately because in the last week I've read and listened to two separate talks by members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles where they both stated neither of them could afford their seven or ten children when they had them. This has been true for us all three times we been pregnant. This time I felt sure that we were finally going to be ready financially to have a baby and then low and behold Jared lost his job two weeks before we found out we were pregnant. With him being unemployed again for the past few months and just lately working again it seems like a crazy time for anyone to be having a child especially in a foreign country. But when I get discouraged I look at my two beautiful boys and remember how they both came at really hard times but now that they are here I wouldn't trade them for anything. Sometimes I think back to before Miles was born and think about how life would be so different if we had just waited another year to have him. It would have meant a year of me making $60K as a dental hygienist and Jared getting out of grad school debt free. I guess to the world the choice would have been obviously for choosing income over a baby. But really the choice was obvious to me that there was no point in delaying something we have been commanded to do. So here we are years later with student loan payments but two beautiful boys and our baby girl on the way. And although I might have looked back to compare how different my life would have been- I have never regretted my decision to have children when we did- not for one single second. And yes, we don't own a house or a car and probably won't for many years. And we might be in school loan debt for years to come as well. But I'd rather have my family and my babies than a mortgage on an empty house any day.

Miles and Colin and baby girl, I just want to write this down for you my darlings, so someday you can read it and know how valued and loved you are.

Love, Mom

Current Favorite Scriptures

It's been a hard day. But I'm so grateful for these scriptures that brought peace and comfort when I needed it.

Alma 26:35-37
35 Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.

36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a branch of the tree of Israel, and has been lost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land.

37 Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every bpeople, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

2nd Corinthians 4:8-9
8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

An Eternal Perspective

I was thinking about how important it is to have an eternal perspective and what a gift that is to know that there is more to come after this life.

I think that focusing on that helps us to better deal with the challenges we face. Most people would not break the law if they absolutely knew they were going to be caught. Likewise a person who understood that they would be richly rewarded if they could just go through a series of hard things would do all the could to gain that reward.

I feel very blessed to have the faith I do and to have such hope in things to come. It helps me to endure and to focus on what is really important.

Patience

Tonight I was reading in an old Book of Mormon Institute Manual and I came across this section by Elder Neal A. Maxwell. I really liked what he had to say on patience.

The necessity of our having this intriguing attribute is cited several times in the scriptures, including by King Benjamin, who clustered the attributes of a saint, and patience was a charter member of that cluster (see Mosiah 3:19; see also Alma 7:23).

Patience is not indifference. Actually, it is caring very much, but being willing, nevertheless, to submit both to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.”

Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. Either way we are questioning the reality of God’s omniscience, as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship.

We read in Mosiah about how the Lord simultaneously tries the patience of his people even as he tries their faith (see Mosiah 23:21). One is not only to endure—but to endure well and gracefully those things which the Lord “seeth fit to inflict upon [us]” (Mosiah 3:19), just as did a group of ancient American Saints who were beating unusual burdens but who submitted “cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15).

The Lord has twice said: “And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life” (D&C 101:38, italics added; see also Luke 21:19). Could it be that only when our self-control has become total do we come into true possession of our own souls?

The Song of the Righteous is a Prayer unto Me

About 7 years ago I was driving in my car on a Sunday afternoon to Jared's house to spend the rest of the day with him. We were engaged at the time. I was singing along with the radio. It was a primary song. I remember thinking about the words and what a powerful message was contained in that simple song. I remember thinking how powerful those songs could be to my future children and that I should start singing to them at a young age, teaching them principles of the gospel through music.

Fast forward to present day. My beautiful little boys are put to bed every night with prayers, and hugs and kisses. And then after the lights go off we sing to them. We sing hymns and primary songs. Sometimes they hum or sing quietly along. Sometimes they just listen. But the point is they do listen.

I am so grateful for those primary songs and how they allow me to teach gospel truths at the tenderest of ages.

"I am a Child of God"

"Love is Spoken Here"

"Love at Home"

"I Love to see the Temple"

"I'm trying to be like Jesus"

I love knowing that when I close the door on my little boys, one of the last things they hear is their mother singing of love. That is a precious thought.

Miracles Can and Do Happen...

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced Monday it has established a relationship with the People's Republic of China. The Church expects it will now lead to what it calls "regularized" operations for the church in the most populous nation in the world.

It seems this is a significant milestone in the Church's efforts with the Chinese government, which have been ongoing for more than 30 years.

While the Church makes it clear its agreement with Chinese leaders does not mean LDS missionaries will go to China, it appears there will now be fewer restrictions for members of the Church who live in China as they practice their faith.

At a meeting held Aug. 24 at LDS Church headquarters, the First Presidency met with a senior official of the People's Republic of China. Together they established a relationship, which the Church expects will lead to "regularizing the activities of the Church in China."

"The Church deeply appreciates the courtesy of the Chinese leadership in opening up a way to better define how the Church and its members can proceed with daily activities, all in harmony with Chinese law," LDS Church spokesman Michael Otterson said Monday.

Both sides agreed to publicly acknowledge the meeting. LDS members with connections to China believe the announcement is a major breakthrough for the LDS Church.

"It's really exciting to me," Church member Justin Alder said. "I think it's a big step forward."

Alder worked in China last summer and attended LDS meetings in Shanghai with about 100 other Latter-day Saints. Chinese citizens who became members the Church while living outside of China were required meet separately from foreign Church members.

"[We] couldn't go to church with them, but there is a few there. Most of them [were] baptized out of China -- whether it was California, Toronto or New York," Alder said.

Some believe this agreement could mean members will soon be able meet together and the Church could own property instead of holding meetings in hotels or offices.

Church members with roots in China say LDS Church standards are similar to traditional Chinese values and believe the Church has respected regulations put into place by the Chinese government, thus establishing a level of trust.

"They have become thoroughly familiar with us through numerous contacts, and they have seen how we and our members operate in China. They know that we are people of our word when it comes to respecting Chinese law and cultural expectations," Otterson said.

"Based on the past 30 years, the Church has accomplished a great deal because of these ongoing efforts and also the good example of the saints over in China," said Church member Simeon Ning.

KSL News did ask if former the Utah governor and current U.S. Ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman, was involved in the discussions. Church officials insist he had no role and say that no U.S. diplomats were involved. They say it is the result of direct communication between the Chinese government and Church leaders.

Broken Hearts

3rd Nephi
9:20 "And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit..."
9:22 "Therefore, whoso repenteth and cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive, for of such is the kingdom of God..."

I've been pondering on this chapter in 3rd Nephi for the past few days. I've been thinking about the trials in my life and how essential they have been to "break my heart" and make me turn towards my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I believe that is why our Heavenly Father allows such things to happen to us and doesn't give us an easy out.

As parents we don't compel our children in their choices. We guide them, but we allow them to make mistakes, trusting that they need to learn for themselves. In looking at my little son Miles I've come to understand just a little bit of how our Heavenly Father must feel when we turn to him with our broken hearts. I do not enjoy my role as disciplinarian but I do want to give my son consequences for bad behavior so that he'll learn. And oh, how sweet and tender he is when he comes to me afterward, crawls into my arms, and says, "I'm sorry, mommy." How happy I am to see his remorse and hear from his lips that he is truly penitent and humble.

I as a parent can see how necessary these experiences are to my little son, whom I love so dearly. Shouldn't I also, as a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, see how essential it is that I be given experiences that "break my heart" and make me want to turn to my Father in Heaven and to my Savior?

For the Savior also said, "...will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?"(3rd Nephi9:13)

What need have we of the Savior if not to be healed from our broken hearts?