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More Diligent and Concerned at Home

This is the post I started on Saturday night and then when I went to publish it, Blogger ate it:

I was flipping through my scriptures on the way to Alma where I am currently studying and this phrase in D&C 93 caught my eye, "more diligent and concerned at home."

For those of you that don't remember, Elder Bednar's last conference talk was focused on this very phrase. I love how Elder Bednar can take a obscure phrase and give such meaning to it. "Tender mercies" is a prime example.

I'm glad that I saw this phrase because it gave me an opportunity to go back and read the conference talk again, something that I probably needed to do as we were in the car on the way to SLC when it was being given.

He gave three suggestions to becoming more diligent and concerned at home.

1. Express Love- and Show it

2. Bear Testimony- and Live it

3. Be Consistent

I feel like I do pretty well on the first two, but it's that third one that gets me.

Morning prayers are the ones I need to say the most, yet all too frequently I am pulled out of bed by the sound of crying children. Sacrament meetings are difficult and it seems like I spend more time in the bathroom with Miles or the mother's room with Colin and when I am in the chapel it seems like I am constantly distracted by my boys. FHE is sometimes forgotten especially since Jared has been gone. I used to read scriptures or play Friend Audio stories to Miles during breakfast, but sadly, I haven't done it since I had Colin. I'm not making excuses for myself, but I know part of the reason for a couple of these sins of omission have been the lack of our own home and the moving around.

I like this quote from Elder Bednar's talk:

"In my office is a beautiful painting of a wheat field. The painting is a vast collection of individual brushstrokes—none of which in isolation is very interesting or impressive. In fact, if you stand close to the canvas, all you can see is a mass of seemingly unrelated and unattractive streaks of yellow and gold and brown paint. However, as you gradually move away from the canvas, all of the individual brushstrokes combine together and produce a magnificent landscape of a wheat field. Many ordinary, individual brushstrokes work together to create a captivating and beautiful painting.

Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33). Consistency is a key principle as we lay the foundation of a great work in our individual lives and as we become more diligent and concerned in our own homes."

If doing all these things consistently has such an amazing impact spiritually on our families, shouldn't the lack of them have an significantly opposite effect on our families?

I feel that I too, as the scripture says, "hath need to be chastened, and set in order (my) family, and see that they are more diligent and concerned at home, and pray always." (D&C 93:50) I continually struggle with this, but I hope I can work towards getting better at doing the things that I know I must to accomplish this.

Sick Day

I had a post all ready last night, but when I went to publish blogger wasn't working and I lost it all. I would redo it tonight, but we have been hit quite suddenly with stomach flu and I'm going to bed. I'm just grateful that mine hit after I got the boys to bed and that so far Colin hasn't shown signs of it yet.

Counting my blessings

Just grateful today that I was able to get some much needed, long put off clothes for Miles on sale today. I have never paid full price for kids clothes and I thought I was going to have to; Miles really couldn't go any longer without some pants that fit him and it is so hard to find white church shirts so I'm glad I was able to find them today. I wish I would have bought one for Colin as well. I can make do with my clothes for the time being, but my boys seem like they grow out of things over night! Bless their sweet little hearts!

"I need something to do"

Today was such a delightful day. Miles was such a joy!
We spent the morning playing with play dough, playing with Colin and reading books. He got to watch a PBS show and we took a little excursion to the store.

He didn't throw any tantrums or have any accidents. He didn't once say to me the phrase I have been hearing quite a lot lately; "I need something to do." Usually he says this phrase after I tell him not to such and such or don't play with that. I've been thinking lately that if I focus on giving him good activities to occupy his time, he has less opportunity and less motivation to seek out trouble.

I think this is a metaphor for adults as well. If we occupy our time doing things that are worthwhile, we are busy being engaged in doing good and less likely to fall down destructive paths. If we fill our days with wholesome activities, studies and uplifting pursuits we feel less temptation to waste away our days.

This is an area I constantly struggle with. Time management and organizational skills are not my strong suit. Everyday I feel like I'm fighting against my nature in being more focused and less scatterbrained and half the time it feels like I'm losing the battle. But I hope (even though it may be years and years down the road) I can work toward this goal and become better at focusing on the most important things. Not spending my time on the things that don't matter, don't have value and distract me from what's really important.

To the Edge of the Light

Tonight I was glancing at my bookshelf and "Memorable Stories with a Message" by Boyd K. Packer caught my eye. It took me back to almost a year ago when Jared had turned down one job offer and he didn't have anything else in the works. One night I was telling Jared I was so tired of all these trials and how hard it was to have faith that something would work out for us. Jared pulled down this book and read this short story to me:

Quote:

"Shortly after I was called as a General Authority, I went to Elder Harold B. Lee for counsel. He listened very carefully to my problem and suggested that I see President David O. McKay. President McKay counseled me as to the direction I should go. I was very willing to be obedient but saw no possible way for me to do as he counseled me to do.

I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, "The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning" I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: "You must first learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness, then the light will appear and show the way before you" Then he quoted these eighteen words from the Book of Mormon:" Dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6)"

After Jared read this to me my prideful self retorted that I felt like we had already been walking in the darkness for a long time. Jared replied, "No, we're not; we know exactly what is going to happen up until graduation, Then we'll be walking in the darkness."

I've thought about this many times since then. When the second job offer came and we had to make a decision Jared received a blessing from our friend Jeff in which he said that we needed to "walk into the darkness." That was the end of last April- one month before graduation.

Even with Jared in China I still feel like we're walking in darkness only we now have been given a flashlight. So many variables are unknown such as visas, travel plans, living situations, etc. But hopefully soon we'll find the mouth of the cave and really step into the light.

I know it's long but read it, you'll be glad you did!

This account is actually about how some friends of ours in Hong Kong spent this past Christmas. I think it is so amazing and I hope someday I can do something half as wonderful as this:

Our 2009 Christmas service project was probably at once the most demanding and most rewarding experience our little family has yet had together. I have written below a brief account of this year's trip, and have posted some accompanying pictures at HelpOneFuture's Flickr page. Actually, you might want to think twice before reading and clicking through the pictures, as odds are you'll end up deciding to join us next year!

Our project this year was focused on children's books. This came about partly because we know how much our own kids love books and partly out of a desire to give something that would last longer than the current school year. After spending some time thinking about the location for the project, we decided to concentrate on the areas around Bayombong, in the Nueva Vizcaya province. Initially, this was because we decided that it would be nice to spend Christmas with the family of a Filipino who works for us and has become our friend, Elnora Cadauan. The thinking was that this would not only allow her to see her children (left behind in the Philippines when she came to Hong Kong seeking work, and with whom we would fall in love), but would take us to a relatively remote, mountainous area of a country that we mainly associated with beaches. However, after we told her we were going to her hometown for this year's Christmas project, we soon realized the fantastic but unintended consequences of our decision.

Elnora immediately set to work contacting her former colleagues and friends in town and in the surrounding provincial governments. She found out which of the nearby schools had chronically received the lowest levels of funding. We learned that funding levels are typically determined by three variables: 1) distance from major city, 2) size of school population and 3) average per capita income of the area. In sum, those schools that are the smallest, farthest from town and among the poorest segments of the population are allocated the least amount of government spending on a per pupil basis.

With these facts in mind, we selected 12 schools located in the mountains to the west of Bayombong that could use some help. We contacted the principals of each school, as well as the mayors of the municipalities in which the schools are located. We queried them on the state of the schools, with particular focus on the condition of the library. As we suspected, none of the schools had any library at all. The most that any of the schools had was a few ancient textbooks to be shared among all the pupils, and only used during school hours. We told the principals that we would like to help their schools with a small library of children's books. We asked the principals to help provide logistical support to get the books from Bayombong up into the mountains, as well as coordinate help from from the administration, faculty and PTA to help cover the books with a plastic covering to extend the book's life and implement a book check-out system.

A great source of unanticipated help came from Elnora's cousin Dax, a law student living in Manila with a real love for books. After hearing of our trip from Elnora, Dax asked if he could join our efforts by helping us select some appropriate Tagalog/English books in Manila. We agreed, and he spent numerous days in bookstores in Manila, negotiating prices with the stores and picking out the best books for elementary students. We picked these books up when we flew into Manila on our way to Bayombong. Dax also was of great service in finding accommodations for us while we were in Manila, as well as giving us good running commentary on government and politics.

The second day after we arrived in Bayombong, we came into contact with the leaders of a local church group. After we told them what we were doing, and mentioned that we were open to anyone who wanted to help, they introduced us to the folks in charge of the youth section of the church. Since the youth were all out of school on Christmas vacation, they predicted that there may be a few who would like to help out. This turned out to be an understatement, to say the least. We asked them to instruct any interested youth to meet us the next morning to make the first trip up into the mountains. The next morning, more than 20 teenage (and 20- and 30-something) Filipinos were waiting for us when we arrived.

The targets for the first distribution were four schools in the Ambagio municipality. We set off that morning in a jeepney. It had been raining the night before, but we did not clearly understood what implications this had for the roads leading up into the mountains. The driver of the jeepney mentioned nothing (although clearly aware of the roads' conditions), but after driving for 45 minutes or so, up a dirt (mud) road, we were stuck. After trying for a half hour or so to get the thing unstuck (bouncing up and down on the back bumper and trowing rice husks under the spinning wheels), we resigned ourselves to the fact that the jeepney was going nowhere soon. The group, now up to around 30 people, got out and started walking up the muddy, steep road leading to the school while the driver made phone calls to try and find someone to pull his jeepney out of the mud. Because he was also the son of the former mayor, he was able to call in a few favors and get the baranguy captain to come and load the group into the back of the town four-wheel-drive dump truck.

The dump truck took us to the first two schools. The reception at each school, which would eventually be repeated at every school we visited, was unexpected and touching. Tables had been set up for the book covering work, teachers and students were waiting, and piles of food were laid out. We were moved by their gratitude and expressions of hospitality.

After working on covering the books for some time, we realized that the dump truck was no longer waiting for us outside the school, and we started trying to figure out how we were going to get to the place where we were supposed to spend the night. This was the source of confusion for about the next 4-5 hours, as night and rain fell. Apparently the dump truck driver decided that he had other things to do and left, considering his work done. Everyone was in good spirits except for those in charge, as plans needed to be made for 30 people to spend the night on the school floor, and all we had for food was a few packets of ramen noodles. Picture that these schools are only accessible by dirt road and are bare-bones with wooden floors and cinder block walls. A second dump truck was eventually sent to collect us after a few semi-heated calls to the mayor were placed. Although many in the group wished to go back down the mountain, we were told that the roads were unsafe and that we needed to continue up to the next town, where we had made arrangements to spend the night.

The house we had planned to stay in was relatively large, but we had not anticipated a group of 30. People sprawled out over the floors and the few available beds, and most spent a chilly night on the hard floor with a smattering of threadbare blankets for protection against the misty chill. Through it all everyone remained in good spirits and, in classic teenage style, most of the youth spent the time singing, laughing and joking around.

The next morning our group split in half, with some of us staying at the house to cover books that were to be picked up by teachers from a nearby school. On the advice of one of the school principals, these books would be placed on a quarterly rotational system among 4 different schools, none of which currently had books. The other members of the group headed off on a hike to Ammoweg, which was down in the bottom of a steep, winding river valley.

The Ammoweg elementary school was situated on a flat area the size of a couple of (US) football fields in a bend of the river, the type of shallow, wide and swift running river that is common in the western mountain regions of the US. It was serenely beautiful -- and more than once we thought about just not going back to Hong Kong. The round trip hike took around 5 hours, all of it through gorgeous jungle forests, interspersed with the occasional sweet potato, rice or other vegetable farm.

The next morning was December 23, and we visited three schools that day: Magapuay, Paitan and Amococan. This time we started out riding in the back of a dump truck. We later found out that the driver committed to stay with us the entire day, missing his Christmas party, so that we could visit all of the schools without further transportation difficulties. Again we were humbled by the gratitude of the schools, their staff and the children. Some had put up banners to welcome us, some sang us songs and all fed us. Although maybe to the eyes of an outside observer the gift of a stack of books that would hardly fill up a full-length shelf in the libraries of their elementary school would seem underwhelming, to those we visited it was magical. Students would sit with us the entire day, poring over the books and exchanging excited recounts of the stories they held. We sometimes sat back and just watched them, thinking about our own childhoods filled with books and warmed with a joy that came from knowing that something we loved had been shared with a truly grateful recipient.

Christmas eve and Christmas day were spent with Elnora's immediate and extended family. Christmas day was particularly fun for our family, with lunch and activities out on an old family farm. The farm was literally overflowing with dozens of kind welcoming people, with children running all over the place and way too much food.

The day after Christmas, we headed back up into the mountains, this time in the province of Kayapa. After some consideration, we decided that we should follow the example of the rotational system that we implemented in Ambagio, so that the books could be used by an even greater number of students. We contacted the principals of the schools we had planned on visiting, and they agreed it was the best use of the new resources.

With this plan, our group (large again and packing two jeepneys to the brim with teenage volunteers) met the principals, teachers and some students at the central town in the Kayapa municipality. There we spent all day covering books and preparing the checkout system. Again, I was amazed at the level of dedication and selflessness demonstrated by the group of youth, laboring with love throughout the day and into the night to provide unknown children with the gift of books (while many of them also went to schools where libraries didn't exist). We eventually made it back to Bayombong late that night, and took the entire group to the local pizza joint to thank them and celebrate a job well done.

This was a bitter-sweet moment for us all. We had done a decent amount of work, and now our stacks of books were gone - over 4,000 books were now ready to check out at 12 different schools. We had spent the majority of our Christmas vacation traveling through the tree covered mountains and hunched over dilapidated school desks. We had witnessed a real spirit of giving by a group of selfless teenagers, and had been overwhelmed by the gratitude of the schools we visited. We had hopefully spent a Christmas deserving of its namesake.