So Very Thankful

When I knelt down on Wednesday night I said one of the most heartfelt prayers of gratitude that I have ever expressed.

I just can't believe how well everything went and how many blessings I had yesterday in my travels.

Two of my bags were a little overweight, but the guy at the desk didn't bother to weigh them.
He also let me in on a little secret- that I could gate check my carry-on bags at the gate all the way to Philadelphia and not have to mess with them in Phoenix. So I got the benefit of having checked bags, but didn't have to pay an extra $100 a piece they charge for a third checked bag.
My parents were able to get gate passes and helped me through security.
The lady at the gate took my bags down to the end of the jet way for me instead of making me take them.
The gates in Phoenix were 4 gates apart instead of the twenty the lady from the airline on Monody said they would be.
Colin didn't sleep that well, only really cat napped, but his fussiness was minimal.
Miles didn't sleep at all but watched his DVD player or played on the floor. He made absolutely no fuss about wearing his seat belt which was a first. He did just fine pulling his rolling backpack through the Phoenix airport and the Philadelphia airport.
(I asked for an electronic car in Phoenix,(ended up not needing it) but didn't in Philly. But there was one waiting when I got off the plane and we got a ride almost all the way to the baggage claim.
Jennie was there waiting for me with a hug and to carry some of my stuff to the car.
She pulled the car around while I went back to get the luggage. On the way I found an abandoned luggage cart and was able to use it to get my baggage back to the car.
One of my suitcases didn't make it, but it was kind of a blessing in disguise, because I don't think it would have fit in the car with the other 5 suitcases and duffel bags. And they delivered it to Jennie's house first thing yesterday morning, so we didn't even have to go back to the airport or even worry about it.

I could just feel my Heavenly Father's hand in so many things that happened during my trip. I just felt so blessed all day and so watched over.

Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts on my behalf. I know they were answered.

Another tender mercy

Today I was able to meet with both my bishop and a member of the stake presidency to get a new temple recommend.

It was kind of miraculous because they just got my records transfered today back from the Shanghai branch (evidently they transfer the whole family's when they transfered Jared's)
I really wanted to get it done today before I left for New Jersey, but up until this morning I didn't think it was going to happen.

I was grateful for the opportunity to meet with both Bishop Lewis and President Kotter. They are both such wonderful men. President Kotter is one of my dear friends dad's and I just love both him and his sweet wife. I had a nice chat with both of them and they were both so positive about my upcoming adventure.

But I think what was the best thing about both interviews was being able to answer for my worthiness to obtain my temple recommend. I felt such a spirit of peace as I answered the questions and a love for my Savior and my Heavenly Father.

Joy in the Journey

Lately I've been thinking a lot about finding joy in the journey. This phrase was a Young women's theme a few years ago in the ward where I served in the YW presidency and recently it's been coming to my mind a lot.

Jared would tell you that I have whined and complained and murmured my fair share about going to China, about the difficulties of being a single mom right now, and about all the challenges and frustrations we've had along the way. I told Jared when we made this decision to move to China, that I was "not going to be a martyr about it" and I've really tried to stick to that, although at times it all gets to me and I have a break down. But really I try to pick myself back up and plow ahead with more faith and determination after these episodes.

Through it all I think I've done a decent job of not complaining too much, but I feel like I still have been saying to myself, "Poor me, look at how much I have been through and how hard it's been" and "When will this end" and "I'll be so happy when...." That last one is the biggie. I have been saying that in my head for so many years:

"I'll be so happy when I get married"
"I'll be so happy when I graduate"
"I'll be so happy when the baby is born"
"I'll be so happy when Jared graduates"
"I'll be so happy when Jared finds a job"

The list is endless. If you look at that phrase it looks like I'm saying I'm not happy now. How sad to be always dwelling on the future and not living in the present and enjoying the moment.

President Monson gave a talk on this subject in the October 2008 General Conference.
Quote:

"I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."

He goes on to say:

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."

I do look forward to being with my darling husband and having my own home again, but in the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy my family and friends and the time I have left with them.

Digital Detachment

Lately I've been really trying not to spend so much time online. It's a hard habit to break. It's a pretty strong addiction to check emails or Sykpe to see if Jared is online or has sent me anything.

But I've been finding that I am more productive throughout my day if I limit myself to only getting on the computer a couple times a day.

There was an article in this months Ensign to this affect and I really liked this quote:
"Being constantly “plugged in” can drown out the quiet whisperings and subtle impressions of the Holy Spirit, breaking our personal connection with God and making it difficult, if not impossible, to receive personal revelation."

I'm still not that great at holding to this resolution of limiting computer time, but days like today remind me of how productive I can be when I'm not constantly on the computer being distracted by "stuff."

Sweet words

Alma 32:23 And now, he imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, not only men but women also. Now this is not all; little children do have words given unto them many times, which confound the wise and the learned.

I read this scripture last night and it reminded me of a tender moment I had with my son.

A few weeks ago I was having a rough time dealing with everything. My sweet dear little Miles came over and patted my back and said, "Jesus love you, Jesus love you, mommy."

All things as a testimony

Alma 30:39-41, 44
39 Now Alma said unto him: Will ye deny again that there is a God, and also deny the Christ? For behold, I say unto you, I know there is a God, and also that Christ shall come.
40 And now what evidence have ye that there is no God, or that Christ cometh not? I say unto you that ye have none, save it be your word only.
41 But, behold, I have all things as a testimony that these things are true; and ye also have all things as a testimony unto you that they are true; and will ye deny them? Believest thou that these things are true?
44 But Alma said unto him: Thou hast had signs enough; will ye tempt your God? Will ye say, Show unto me a sign, when ye have the testimony of all these thy brethren, and also all the holy prophets? The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.

I read this scripture last night before I went to bed. It particularly caught my attention because of the discussion I had with Jared yesterday. Jared has been having email exchanges with one of his friends from Purdue about the existence of God. She feels empty and alone and she is wondering what is the meaning of life. She doesn't believe in God.

I'm so grateful for the testimony I have about that God lives. I can't imagine not knowing that. I love this scripture because it is so true. Everything in my life not only denotes that there is a God but that He loves me. I think of the daily miracle of just watching my children learn and grow. How perfect their little bodies are and how they have been sent here with their own personalities. I think of the miracle of both my sons births, the one being so peaceful and beautiful, the other being difficult but even more miraculous because of the things that could have gone wrong, but didn't. I think of answers to prayers that have come by my Heavenly Father prompting others to help me and take care of me. I think of things working out for my family even in the midst of trials and seemingly unbeatable odds.

I know my Heavenly Father is there. I wish Jared's friend would just begin by saying a simple prayer. Jared asked her about it and she said she felt embarrassed to try to pray when she doesn't even believe in a God. I think the sad thing is that too many people won't even put it to the test to pray and find out for themselves. It brings to mind another scripture:

2Nephi 32:8

And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.

I know that Jared is praying for this friend and I hope that (even if she has yet to say a prayer herself) she will still feel the Lord's hand in her life through the prayers of others, and that someday she will come to know for herself that God is real and that he loves her and is watching over her.

Keep Rowing

Yesterday I read an article in the Ensign called "Start Rowing."

It talked about the financial struggles of the author's family. It echoed a lot of Jared and my experiences over the past couple years. It seems like we have either been students, un-employed, or underemployed ever since we got married. I keep thinking that there must be some lessons that I haven't learned yet as we continue to be in these kinds of circumstances. I think a big part of it is trusting in the Lord that he will not forsake you, even in what "seems" like the hardest of circumstances. Too often my pride gets in the way of relying on the Lord for strength and trying to do it all on my own.

I loved the quote by Elder Groberg in the article:
“How often do we not do more because we pray for wind and none comes? We pray for good things and they don’t seem to happen, so we sit and wait and do no more. We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impressions to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”

This quote made me think about how many friends I have where the couples are doing all they can even in the midst of economic struggles. I guess it's part of being students these past years, but there have been so many examples of friends that have done all they can to live providently. I have a lot of friends that are getting into photography as a way to make supplemental income. Many friends have other little businesses, and I think it's great that they've found a way to help their families by using their talents in these various ways.

Even now as Jared is not getting paid very much he is looking into teaching English or other ways of supplementing our income in China and I'm proud of him that he is not, as Elder Groberg puts it, "sitting and waiting" for things to happen. As for myself, of course being a dental hygienist is not an option right now and I don't have any idea when it will be, but I'm also trying to find another way to help with our income. If it's successful you'll hear all about it, if it isn't than you'll probably hear about it too, but right now I don't want to give too much away. While none of these little ventures may come to anything, I feel really good about the fact that at least both Jared and I aren't sitting around waiting for Heavenly Father to bless us, but instead we both have made goals that we are steadily working towards, at the same time praying that He will bless our efforts.