To say that I have mixed emotions about Jared leaving would be an understatement:
I'm nervous to be a single parent for the next (at the least) three months. I'm slightly worried about finances with him there and me still here. I miss him already. I'm worried about my boys being without their daddy for so long. I feel so sad at all the things that Jared will miss Colin doing.
But more than all of these concerns, my most prevalent feeling is that I'm so very grateful that this is finally happening and that he is finally going where we know we were supposed to be.
Somehow at the airport yesterday I was not the emotional wreck that I had pictured myself. I didn't even cry. Part of this is that I already did my crying on Monday, but in truth, I know that the Lord is giving me strength to do this.
Mosiah 24:15 says
"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord"
I have felt that this scripture has had particular meaning to me lately. I don't thing my burdens are getting any easier, especially with Jared leaving, but I do think I am bearing them better.
I think the key part of this scripture is "the Lord did strengthen them." Much like how muscles are strengthened. If you think about it, we have to push or pull against some sort of resistance before we strengthen our muscles. It doesn't happen all of a sudden; it takes days, weeks or months to build muscle strength. I don't think that the burdens were actually made lighter for the people of Alma, but that the previous trials they had gone through made them emotionally and spiritually stronger. I think it starts to come easier because of the experiences that you been through, the faith that has grown, and prayers that have been answered. And you find that that 50 lb trial is easy to move even though when you started out you were having trouble with the 10 lb trials.
